This is totally weak, like the prequels

There is something really wrong with my legs. Like seriously physically wrong. I can’t walk long distances without intense crippling pain in my calves and shins. It’s been like this for over a year now. Sometimes it seems fine and I can walk around all day, but it seems whenever I’m walking distance with a purpose my legs and feet go straight to Hell.

Sometimes when I’m down I ask myself the question

I like pickles. Why is the pickle stork a mailman?

The Dan Band

I went to Vancouver this weekend to check out The Dan Band. They were awesome.

Here’s how my weekend went down:

Happy Birthday Keli

This is for Keli. If you are not Keli, you won’t understand any of the following.

My glorious homecoming

I’m home now. My feet are pretty tired. Alas my head is no clearer than it was when I left. Bugger.

I am just going outside and may be some time.

Walking out the door. I am unsure when I will be back.

3 months today

and I still feel gutted.

You know what’s funny?

Walking out of the gym and seeing the scary fit lady who walked out before you lighting up a cigarette. The effect is definitely enhanced by a sunbed tan so deep that her skin looks more like flaky baked leather than flesh. Mmmm, lookin’ good lady, lookin’ reaaaaal good.

It was too much for Guy…

Fuck you, My bread is made by SCIENCE.

That’s right. I don’t go in for all that multi-grain, whole wheat, whole grain bullshit. If I want my bread to taste like twigs and dirt, I’ll eat twigs and dirt. No, MY bread is made possible by the wonders of mutherfuckin’ science yo. That’s because I eat WonderBread. And that stuff is fucking delicious. It’s crammed full of all sorts of vitamins and minerals that I can’t even say the names of, with impressive sounding words like Omega and Riboflavin.

Now, I’m not saying you’re wrong if you eat regular old white bread, or whole wheat bread, or even multi or whole grain breads. I’m just saying you’re not as right as I am, that’s all.