One of the fun things about being me is that I live in my condo. It’s been described in many ways and called by many names: The Offices of Geoffrey Today, The Offices of Non Stop Pop, The Fortress of Solitude, The Jedi Temple, The Bat-cave, Docking Bay 94, The Hall of Justice, and my personal favourite, Nerdtopia.
My place is strategically designed to keep me surrounded by incredibly geeky and awesome objects and paraphernalia at all times. It is the source of all my powers. I wish I had a camera that I might let you gaze upon the majesty of it all, but alas that’s one piece of technology I’ve remained sorrowfully without. Still, I can describe the scene as I sit here.
I am currently sitting on my couch. Directly in front of me on the opposite wall the room is my Widescreen HDTV. This is flanked by my PS2 and my Wii. Beneath can be found my HD-DVD player (I bought it because it was cheap, my support truly lies with Blu Ray) and my 7.1 audio tuner. This little Entertainment Centre is flanked by two wall units, each displaying a cavalcade of excellent goodies.
On the left top shelf is Boba Fett, Darth Maul, Yoda, Count Dooku and Luke Skywalker. In front of that display of awesome are my new GI Joe‘s I picked up the other day. They are The Baroness, Cobra Trooper, Cobra Commander, Destro and Storm Shadow.
Next Shelf down houses my commemorative series Optimus Prime (which has a sad story attached to it, remind me to tell you the whole bloody affair sometime). Also on this shelf is my Argonath, Smeagol and Minis Tirith statues from the Lord of the Rings. Kaneda’s motorcycle from Akira also makes an appearance, Jay, Randal and Dante of the Clerks line, The Brittania II from the anime Lensman, and finally, My 20th anniversary Prime holding the autobot matrix of leadership.
On the bottom shelf I have displayed my Kubrick Tron collection, all the lightcycles, recognizers and tanks and such, awesome. Also on the bottom floor is my Mork from Ork egg ship with Mork figure. We round out this collection with my lego Enterprise NCC-1701-D. Dope.
Heading over to the right hand case! The top shelf contains some carded star wars figures, Unleashed Luke Hoth, 3D Empire Strikes Back poster, Han Solo carbonite, magnetic floating cloud city and my Animated Luke Hoth statue.
Middle Shelf. This is my big Star Wars action figure display. All the main characters are represented, and there’s also a Luke in Bacta chamber which is quite sweet. The Max Reebo band is also in attendance.
Bottom shelf sees my Knight Rider action stunt set complete with little truck that KITT can jump over or through. The Chipmunks are also on display play their devil music. A model A-Wing I made when I was a kid lies here as well, along with my old diecast star destroyer with one broken Shield generator. Last but not least, the limited edition Megaman X gamecube controller that my good friend Lee bestowed on me is also here.
Up top there is a board suspended between the tops f these two units. On top of this board are giant 3D cardboard letters spelling out STAR WARS. This is from the movie theatre standee for the Star Wars special editions released in 1997. On top of these letters is my collection of retarded Burger King Star Wars toys. To the left of the letters is my Darth Vader mask, upon which is perched my Mario cap. My Master Effects Luke Jedi lightsabre is displayed in front of the letters.
On each of my front channel speakers sits a Spartan helmet from Halo. On the wall directly behind me are posters for the original King Kong, and the Adventures of Robin Hood with Errol Flynn. To my Left is a 3D poster for Paper Mario on the Wii. There’s a portal in my wall to the left that allows me to see into my kitchen through these posts that make it look like a Mexican prison.
Through this portal I can see my animation desk. Sitting atop it is my complete collection of Star Trek TOS on vhs, no commercials. Also my complete collection of Star Trek: The Next Generation on vhs, also without commercials. Directly beside those tapes is the Ghostbusters firehouse. Inside and on the firehouse are arrayed a number of toy ghosts and ghoulies. On the shelf beneath are my assorted nerdy cassettes, like Exo-Squad, Captain Power and such. Also here is my Donald Duck doll. It’s sweet, I wish I could explain it better.
On the wall to the left of my entertainement centre is a poster for Casablanca. Beneath this is an old TV stand which houses a framed picture of myself, Kevin and Jenn taken at Chuck E. Cheese. lso here are my mini busts of the Universal classic monsters. On the shelves beneath can be found 2 Coleco Adam video game consoles and my Guitar Hero guitars.
Artoo Detoo sits quietly beside my right front channel speaker. His batteries are dead, otherwise he’d be wandering around and keeping me company. He talks, it’s fun, my neighbors must think I’m nuts.
In the next room is my PC (I’m writing this on my laptop, which is almost always the case). Above the computer is my theatrical Akira poster. to the left of my computer is the wall against which my DVD shelf is. My DVD shelf houses my 700+ DVDs. to the left of my DVDs is my piano. Does anyone want to buy a Piano? Make me an offer.
The wall directly opposite my computer is decorated with part of my Vinyl Collection. Displayed on my wall currently are: A-Ha, The Black Hole, Blues Brothers, Burt Bacharach Plays His Hits, Village People: Macho Man,Gay 90s Roaring 20s sing-a-long (recorded right here in Victoria!), Jump Up Calypso by Harry Belafonte, Saturday Night Fiedler, the soundtrack of Camelot, The best of Liberace, and finally Starland Vocal Band.
On the floor beneath, waiting to be displayed are: Mickey Mouse Disco, Sing the hit songs of Sesame Street, Chipmunk Punk, 2001 a Space Odyssey, Xanadu, Bill Cosby 8:15 12:15, Amadeus, Lawrence of Arabia, Hair, Jesus Christ Superstar, Bill Cosby is a very funny fellow, Twisted Sister: Stay hungry, Richard Simmons: Reach, Star Wars, Huey Lewis and the News: Sports, Aesop’s Fables the Smothers Brothers Way, Kenny Rogers: The Gambler and finally W.C. Fields: original voice tracks from his greatest movies.
On the wall by the door to my room is Frankie Lane: Rockin’, Sesame Street’s LOVE album and Thriller. On the other side of the door is a 6 foot wall hanging of Qui Gon from Star Wars episode I.
In my bedroom one finds a vintage Empire Strikes back poster on one wall, a Dave Dorman Hoth print on the other. One more Spartan helmet for good measure, and all my books. Also the Great Gonzo and Scooter from the Muppet show. My fedora lives in here too, as I often lament that I was not alive in the 40s, when all men wore hats. Finally my Artoo Detoo piggy bank is on my bedside table.
So that’s it. This is wear I live. You should come over and hang out some time. It’s fun, honest.