Jaded

Does anyone else ever get that feeling of an empty place inside of yourself? The one that used to be filled with wonder but now just waits for those fleeting moments of inspiration that are all too rare in our adult lives? I’m feeling that pretty heavily tonight. I don’t know exactly why.

I can remember when I was a kid and just being so awed and excited about practically everything. I wish I could say it was deep meaningful stuff, but I’d be lying. I remember feeling awed by Superman and superheroes in general, by policemen and firemen. I remember feeling awed by the future and space travel. I was filled with this innate assuredness that all of these amazing things were real, or within my grasp or would certainly come to pass.

Jaded. That’s it. I’m feeling jaded this evening. Right now I would give just about anything to feel that kind of excitement again. I wish I could feel that pure awe of something greater than myself. I can remember laying on the carpet in my old house in my superman underoos, looking up at the TV and watching Superman, the REAL Superman, flying through the air rescuing people, stopping nuclear missiles or turning back time! It was so reassuring to know that Superman was real.

I can recapture that feeling for brief moments, watching the best moments of those films that inspired those feelings in me as a child, but I just can’t hang on to them anymore. The high doesn’t last. Brief moments of galvanic skin response that fade as quickly as they come.

I know, not a particularly funny post today, I do apologize. Tomorrow I promise more hilarity and less brooding.

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~ by Pagz on January 28, 2008.

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