A window into insanity

Welcome to Customers can kiss my ass Theatre, sit back and enjoy.

Fade in:

Int. Futureshop. Day.

The entertainment department of futureshop is a bustling hive of activity. Aisles of dvds, cds and games packed with shoppers seeking to fill the empty void in their lives through the purchase of name brand electronics. Our hero stands amongst this crush of humanity’s cruelest mistakes and awaits the inevitable call to action. The customer arrives, he’s about 6 feet tall, in his late 50s and he wears the worlds most approachable scowl.


I want to buy a DS, where are they?


I’m sorry sir, I’m afraid we’re all sold out.


What?! Well when the hell will you get more?!


I’m not at all sure sir. We had about 7 a few days ago, but they sold out immediately. We’ve pretty much been sold out since Christmas.


But that was a month ago!


I know, but it takes a while to recover from the holiday season for the manufacturers.


Well this is just bullshit! Why the hell does it take them so long! I bought Brain Age II and I can’t play it without the system! Am I supposed to keep waiting?!


I’m sorry sir, there’s really nothing I can do. We’re still in that post Christmas rush where the people who couldn’t get a DS for their kids at Christmas are trying to make up for it now. It’s going to be another few weeks before things finally get back to normal.


Well this is just stupid. I don’t understand why YOU can’t keep them in stock! I don’t have the time to deal with your bullshit. I’m going to return the game, you’ve lost my business.


Yeah, we’re really going to miss having the business of someone so stupid that they bought a game for a system they didn’t fucking own. I know I’m going to lose sleep at nights thinking about how we won’t have the pleasure of dealing with you and your fucking bullshit. My god, please don’t leave us sir! The store will whither and die without you! It’s your business that keeps us afloat! We’re hanging on by the narrowest of narrow threads! Your return of a 20 dollar game will be the tipping point! For the love of mercy take pity on us! Oh… Wait… I’m sorry, what I meant to say was get the FUCK out of my store you useless waste of synapse.


Coming soon to a theatre near you. Hollywood is gonna beat down my door any minute now, I can feel it :p


~ by Pagz on January 30, 2008.

One Response to “A window into insanity”

  1. i really hope you said that

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