For your eyes only

So, the Bondsploitation continued last night with For Your Eyes Only which I puts us past the halfway mark with the Roger Moore Bond series. It’s not the worst Bond film ever made. It has some genuinely good moments… You know what? that feels like a total cop-out apologist answer. For Your Eyes Only was a steaming load.

Not only was it a steaming load, it felt like a never ending steaming load. Seriously, by the end of the film we were all sure that it must have been pushing the 3 hour mark, yet we all agreed it felt considerably longer. Imagine our collective surprise to discover the movie is only 2 hours and 8 minutes long. Honestly, I’ve watched all 3 extended editions of The Lord of the Rings in a row, that’s closing in on 13 hours worth of movie my friends, and while that experience was exhausting, it wasn’t nearly as interminable as this.

The real killer though is the plot. There isn’t one. The McGuffin of this film is so flimsy that you forget about it immediately, and whenever it resurfaces you’re left wondering “what?” before you finally rememeber what it is… and then just as quickly remember why you couldn’t give a flying fuck.

The bright spot of the movie was the inclusion of Topol. Topol rules.

Only 2 Moore flicks left to go (pun totally intended, gawd I’m funny): Octopussy and A View to a Kill. I seem to recall Octopussy being totally forgettable, but A View to a Kill is some stupendous lunacy. Christopher Walken a Bond villain? Sign me up. Bond gets raped by Grace Jones? I’ll be in the lobby to get myself some treats while that’s happening. It’s a good thing we’re nearing the end of Moore’s run, the last 2 flicks he’s aged A LOT. Watching Moore flirt with Moneypenny is like watching your grandparents trade sexually suggestive quips, uncomfortable and disturbing.


~ by Pagz on May 16, 2008.

One Response to “For your eyes only”

  1. for your eyes only is one of my fav bond theme songs

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