You`re trying hard Not to show it, But baby, baby, I know it

Hey look, it’s Darth Maul, maybe the film is about to kick back into high gear finally! Here comes the probe droid, it’s hovering in front of Maul who apparently understands it perfectly, and now Maul is off on his little speeder bike thing to adventures unknown… but not for long!

We’re back at the Naboo cruiser now, and Qui-Gon and Anakin are running for some reason. No explanation is given for this. It’s given in the deleted scenes, and it’s inclusion would have helped a great deal, but alas, t’was not to be. Qui-Gon has a sizeable lead on Anakin… Maybe he’s trying to leave the kid stranded in the desert, the movie might be picking up, but no. Anakin pipes up with a poorly delivered “Qui-Gon Sir, wait, I’m tired!” which gets Qui-Gon’s attention. He turns around just in time to see the bad sith dude zoomin up fast on Anakin. “Anakin! Drop!” shouts Qui-Gon in what is probably the best delivery a crap line like that will ever receive. Maul comes up on Qui-Gon and does an entirely impossible, unrealistic, and poorly animated jump off of his speeder and into battle. Pure and total ass, ILM should be ashamed.

And here we have it, the first lightsaber duel of the saga. It’s weak. Too many close ups. The robes are clearly not meant for fighting, why both the Jedi and the Sith favor these uniforms is beyond me. Honestly, I’m truly under whelmed by the first duel of the saga. The contest ends when Qui-Gon makes an equally lame and poorly executed jump from the ground onto the ramp of the Naboo ship as it passes by overhead. For shame ILM, for shame. The whole sequence ends with the introduction of Anakin and Obi-Wan, which goes from reasonable, to stupid when, after Anakin says “Hi” he re reassess things and says “You’re a jedi too? Pleased to meet you” in a voice dripping with so much smarm you just wanna smack the little fucker.

Back on Naboo, Nute Gunray, head Neimoidian is siting in a chair that walks, and talking to that Governor guy. He delivers a speech that I’m sure is meant to closely mirror the speech the Emperor gives Luke on the Death Star II “You’re fleet is lost, and your friends on the centurion moon will not survive”. It’s a good moment, but not a great one. The governor gives some weak ass rebuttal about democracy, and is then, thankfully, whisked away by some battledroids. This is unfortunately followed by a battledroid reporting to Nute. Why? I will continue to ask this. Why do battledroids report to anyone? They’re controlled by and given directives by the droid control ship! They have no need to confirm their orders or actions, because they do nothing without being told to! Lame.

Halfway through now, it’s all uphill from here kids.


~ by Pagz on June 25, 2008.

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