Gearing up

I’m getting ready to start making the significant changes in my lifestyle that I’ve discussed recently. I am no longer employed at BC Ferries. I wasn’t the employee they need right now and frankly, working in customer service has been killing me slowly for ages. I’ve made my decision. For the next several months, or for however long it takes, I’m making myself my job.

I’m nervous. It’s not an easy thing to do, remaking a life. There are a lot of things I still hang on to that I really need to let go of. I carry a lot of self doubt about my abilities as an artist. I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt over my inability to just be “okay” and not succumb to depression. I still miss Keli and think about her every day. It’s going to be a long, arduous process to get past all of these things.

One step at a time though. Right now I’m just focusing on the things I can control directly. That means diet, exercise, sleep and drawing. Starting Monday I’ll be initiating the RBP. I’ve worked out a daily schedule for myself that I’m going to try to adhere to as closely as I can. I’ve put aside time each day for exercise, meal preparation, life drawing, portfolio work, drawing practice, and of course free time.

I want to get in to a routine. I want to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. I want to work on my drawing every day. I want to work on the comic every day. I want to exercise every day and I want to eat properly every day. I want to feel better. I don’t want to be tired all the time. I want my skills to improve and I want to have a body of work I can use in my portfolio.

It’s not going to solve everything, I know that. There are some things I’m not sure I’ll ever be truly free of. The important thing is, I think, just making the start. Moving forward.

I’m also going to try to get Geoffrey Today back on track with daily posts, but we’ll see how things go. My hands might be full enough with everything else. Anyway, here’s hoping this is the start of things getting better.

“See you on the other side Ray.”

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~ by Pagz on September 11, 2010.

One Response to “Gearing up”

  1. While I’m sure your readers will be looking forward to daily updates, please don’t sacrifice any of your more important goals… consider this blog part of your “free time” category. ^_^

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